SA is done! Now, we wait a few days for the results. This will surely feel like the longest wait ever.

I'm on day 3 of this round of Clomid. I forgot to take it last night (IDIOT!) so I took it this morning on an empty stomach. Big mistake. I felt nauseous and anyone who knows me- knows that makes me panic. I am going to make sure I remember to take them at night to prevent the torture of having to take it this way again.

Nothing else to report.

Diagnostics and Treatments = EXPENSIVE

So today was my log awaited follow up with my doctor.

 First, it was a misunderstanding that I be given only 2 months of Clomid the last time that I was in the office. She actually wanted me to call her office, and request a that a new Rx be called in once we knew that it gave me an adequate ovulation (which was determined by a7dpo progesterone test).

She prescribed me 6 more cycles of Clomid, and I'm to call back if we have not conceived after those 6 cycles. From what I've read, it shouldn't be used for more than 6 cycles anyway. Also, research has shown that most conceive in under 3 cycles on Clomid, and it's more rare for it to happen after 6 cycles.

Secondly, I'm to go for a HSG. Basically, they are going to force dye through my fallopian tubes to see if they are open. Sometimes just the act of forcing the dye through can help to unblock a tube if it's blocked by a mucous plug, so it's somewhat of a treatment as well as a diagnostic tool.

More importantly, Chop is going to have to have a semen analysis. If it comes back with bad results, I'm going to stop taking the Clomid until we figure out if we can 'fix' the problem. No point in using up the cycles on Clomid if it's not going to work.

This is going to get expensive. An HSG is going to cost $350-$400 so that is going to have to wait a few months. The SA could cost between $150-$200. Thankfully, generic Clomid is only $9 for 5 pills, so I'm not going to go completely broke on that. I'm not into the whole IVF or IUI thing so at least that will save me money.

My doctor didn't mention it, but I'm going to make a good effort at trying to lose weight. The last time, I just kept losing and gaining the same 5lbs, but if it might help even just a little bit- I am going to need to try harder.

Peak fertility age is between 13 and 24. Chances of pregnancy each month during these years is 25%, and at 35+ it's 19%. Those really aren't great odds to begin with- it's crazy to me that so many end up accidentally pregnant (and that's a whole other story- don't get me started! LOL!) Makes sense as to why I had no issue getting pregnant when I was 19, 20, 22 and 23. I always thought my problem would be staying pregnant, not getting pregnant. Now, I'll battle both beasts.

AF should be arriving today or tomorrow, I'm at cd26 today. Going to pick up my Clomid tomorrow and start the next cycle. Fingers crossed.

Round 2 Results!

FAIL

I have called my doctor and reported the failure of round 2 of Clomid. She's going to see me on Dec 20th for a follow up and decide where to go from there. Until then, does anyone know how you go about getting a SA done? I'd like to have the results to take to that appointment if possible.

I had said we were going to take precautions so that I would not be due 2 weeks before our wedding. I have since decided that there's no need to take precautions. Obviously if it's not working while we are trying- it's certainly not going to happen if we don't try. Yes, some people say that it happens when you aren't trying- but I think that only applies if there are no "problems".

How do you decide when to finally call it quits? Obviously it hasn't been long enough to do that with the current information we have- but I've been trying to decide when 'enough is enough'. As I said before, there is the age gap with my 2. Even at this point, a baby would end up being pretty much an 'only child' in many aspects. I'm going to be 30 next year and while that's not old by any stretch of the imagination- it's old for my reproductive system. It's going to get harder and harder the older I get. Chop is 38, again- not ancient, but new studies show that male fertility does decline with age. Then there's money. How much can I afford to put out on something that may or may not happen before I feel bad that I could have spent it on the 2 kids that I do have? So far, I've only got $20 into it (2 rounds of Clomid) but anything after this could be expensive--as I am sure a SA is. If you stopped trying, how did you decide?

I can't say I was devastated this month, more annoyed. I pretty much figured it wasn't going to work. Ya know, one of those gut feelings. Or maybe I'm getting so used to BFN's that I'm not even a POAS addict anymore. I didn't POAS even once this month.

See ya in December!

Here We Go Again

And yet again at 9dpo, I have started to have some very light spotting. It's the same as last cycle with Clomid. My temp is up, but still the spotting is not a positive sign. In a way, I am glad that we are skipping the next cycle (or maybe cycles) because I'm seriously ready to scream. In another way, it's just another few months going by that are going to cause my kids to become older and older. What a big age gap.

I wish someone could just say "No, you'll never have another baby.". I could handle that. The not knowing is driving me batty. I guess our next step is to have Chop go get all checked out and to make myself a follow up GYN appt.

Oh well..such is life.

No, that's not a pregnancy test- it's an ovulation test. I am pleased to see that the test line is nice and dark (which means it's positive), thus indicating that Clomid has not caused a change in my usual ovulation pattern. According to my chart, I ovulated on cd14. Now, I enter the TWW.

I'm out of Clomid and I have no follow up doctor appt scheduled. This is the last medicated cycle until I can get back in to see my doctor. I'm not sure I will know what do with myself without having to wake up at 530 on the weekends, take my temp, inspect CM and rush to the store for tests of all kinds. It may be a welcome break because this is becoming a chore. Chop had made a comment that it will "happen when it happens". I think he needs to go to the doc with me so this can be explained to him. I am not going to get pregnant without meds of some sort. And the window of opportunity is so small (3-4 days) that it's not like we can BD without some kind of planning. When we decide to call it quits, I will be having an IUD put back in because I refuse to suffer with awful periods and all the spotting I usually have and not have any shot at being pregnant through all of that.

I had a call into my doc last cycle about my spotting. She said my progesterone was ample for conception and that spotting is not abnormal if I had inadequate cycles previously.

Round 1 Results!

 FAIL

TMI Alert- Turn back now!

Ok, don't say I didn't warn you. Hoping to get some feedback from those who used Clomid on the symptoms I've had the past few days.

The Clomid worked in that it gave me a stronger ovulation and it did extend my LP. I had a 27 day cycle (YAY! Previously, they were 25-26 days). I did spot for 4 days though which was kind of a bummer.Yesterday, AF arrived. At first, it was a very dark brown with some black- NOT normal for me. Then, it changed over to it's normal color but why was it so dark to start? Is that normal after Clomid? Did anyone ever spot while on Clomid? I'm wondering if that's preventing implantation or if there had been implantation- if I would not have had the spotting?

Tomorrow starts round 2 of Clomid. As directed, I am going to take it (see, I told you I would when it came down to it LOL) days 3-7 at 50mg again. I am also going to cut way down on my caffeine intake, eat a little bit healthier and try to squeeze more walking into my schedule.

If this cycle does not work, we need to take break. Our wedding is August 16th and I would be due August 12th if we don't. We discussed and during that month break- Chop's gonna take a trip to the doc and get himself checked out to see if he has any male factors that may also be causing an issue. We also decided that if I end up being pregnant at our wedding, it's just something we will have to deal with. The only thing it would change would be my dress or at least some altering to my dress. I really didn't want another winter baby because that part of the year is crazy for us. My mom's birthday is Nov 20, Tyler's Nov 24, Thanksgiving- all in the same week. Then we have a 2 week break and it's Megan's birthday Dec 14, Kallie's Dec 18, Christmas and New Year's. At this point though, we are going to take what we get. Because I'll need another c-section, I'll be able to pretty much pick the most convenient day within a week or so of the due date so that helps.

As far as how far we will go, we won't do anything like IVF- mainly just meds and other things that aren't to much of an 'intervention'. Here's hopin' it works this cycle and we won't need to worry about the 2 w's---wedding and winter!

Labs are back

Progesterone levels are back. At 8dpo on cd23, my level was 10.something. Compared to my "barely 3" at cd23 a few cycles ago, my number is great. She did not suggest supplements or anything, but I am going to send an email and let her know about the spotting that started yesterday at 9dpo. Otherwise, she suggested another round of 50mg Clomid.

How do people do this for years?

I don't have the results of my prog. test yet, but I am calling for them in the AM. Today when I got home from work, I had some spotting. *Insert tears here*. I'm not sure if I am crying because it didn't work the 1st time or because I know what that means for the next cycle---it's my last one until April 2014. 6 months away. Because I know my LPD is going to get worse the older I get, that 6 months seems like an eternity.

I feel defective and broke. How did I go from 4 pregnancies between 19 and 22, and now I'm only 7 years older and struggling? I'm frustrated, sad and just annoyed. I'm one of those people who likes to things 'right' the first time. When I can't get it 'right', I tend to give up. That's what I feel like doing right now..because I can't keep getting my hopes up. Of course when the time comes and it's time to take Clomid again, I'll do it--but right now, I just want to quit.

"I can feel my temperature rising..."

Yes, I really just sang that in my best Elvis voice. I don't know the words to any Elvis song, but that one popped in my head when I was trying to come up with a title.

I've been charting and my BBT has been staying up pretty high. Usually, my temp will go up after ovulation and fluctuate up and down during the LP. This time, it went up, then started stair climbing, and now it's just rising. I'm making sure to sleep in the same type of clothing every night (PJ pants and a t-shirt) along with the same amount of blankets to keep things regulated.I didn't have any of this when I got pregnant with Kallie so I am wondering if the Clomid is the cause?

I haven't had an implantation dip yet, though it's not a guarantee even if the egg did implant that I would get one. I'm 7dpo today so it can happen any time now.

I have my progesterone check tomorrow AM before I go to work. Hoping for good news that my progesterone is where it needs to be. I'd really like to not have to use supplements for 12 weeks.

Clomid

                                             CLOMID

The miracle pill for many. The side effects are reportedly awful if you happen to get them. Thankfully, I had only mild side effects. I skipped the hot flashes and nausea by taking it at night before bed. I did have a dizzy feeling for about 3 days after the last pill. The dizziness is probably the cause of the headache as well. Aside from that, I felt pretty good. It was a scary thing though knowing I could get hot flashes at any moment. That was the last thing I wanted while sitting at work in a blazer and dress pants, where some days it's already warm and humid. Currently, taking some gummy vitamins for folic acid as well. I can't take prenatals with all that extra iron, they make me nauseous so gummy's it is!

Positive ovulation test yesterday afternoon- so hopeful that I will ovulate sometime today which is cd15! If I have a 26 day cycle- that gives me an LP of 11 days which is SO much better than 8-9 days.

I have to call my doctor once I ovulate to schedule my 21 day progesterone check. If it's low, we either up the Clomid for next cycle or we start using progesterone supplements. She didn't want to start me on the supplements right away because it would be a long 14 weeks of having to insert them every day, and I may not even need them.

I swear everyone and their brother is pregnant. That is, everyone but me. I know it could be SO much worse, but it's still hard to swallow when you're trying to be happy for those who are pregnant (especially those who have struggled), but you're also hearing some complain about how much it sucks to be pregnant.